I Want to Help, but I Don’t Know How…
Contributed by Lizabeth Sumner, RN, BSN
We often mean well by saying “call me if you need anything,” but the reality is that it is best to offer something specific you can and will do and then just do it. This is especially true when a family is dealing with a serious illness or a death. There are tangible things you can do to help ease their burden…
- Make a meal that is easy to reheat
- Invite siblings over to your home to play so mom and dad can have some time to themselves
- Run errands
- Pick kids up from school or drive them to their daily activities
- Make sure that the house is stocked with the kids’ favorite cereal or other familiar comfort foods
- Do yard work
- Clean the house
- Mow the lawn
- Do the laundry
- Honor each family member’s grieving experience and expression – recognizing the differences is a true gift.
- Offer to go with the parents to help plan or hold their hand while they make arrangements for the memorial service and/or funeral
- Offer to assist the family in preserving mementos. Let the family set the timetable for this as they need to discover the right timing for themselves
- Send a note or a letter (see Those Difficult Cards & Letters, page 29)
- Remember them during holidays and birthdays, mother’s/father’s days. Notes and letters that continue over time are priceless. Don’t worry about “reminding them of their child” they are already remembering and often grieving for their child during these milestones and will be comforted to know that their child is remembered by others.