If you know of resources and tools for supporting families in crisis and would like to share them, please email us at news@childrenshospice.org.

For more information in English and Spanish about ways to support families, please visit Children’s Hospice and Palliative Care Coalition’s online support network for parents at www.PartnershipforParents.org.

“I want to help, but I don’t know how”

If you know someone who has a child with a serious illness and want to help but don’t know how, here is a letter from a parent with suggestions you can use in supporting families in crisis.

Dear Friends,
This is a very demanding and emotional time for all of us. We appreciate your interest and your desire to be here with us. We all know it is hard to ask for help and to know what to do to help. The truth is, we do in fact need your help in some areas. To make it easier for us both, we have some ideas that you can assist us with. This is just to be helpful and there is no pressure or obligation, we just wanted to make it easier for all of us.

Things that would be very helpful:

Household ideas

• Mow the lawn when we’re away for several days or circumstances prevent us from doing it ourselves.
• Arrange for transportation for our other children to get to/from school, sports and other activities. This can be shared among a few people; we can provide schedules, directions, etc.
• Sponsor a housecleaning session.
• Pick up meds at pharmacy or clinic/hospital.
• Shop for groceries with a list.
• Walk the dog regularly.
• Have our other children over to play or sleepover occasionally.
• Bring news from school, notes, cards, journal from the kids.
• Keep friends updated for us and express our appreciation for their concern. This reduces the number of calls we need to make.
• Please call before visiting. We may be resting or having a rough day/night. We want to make sure we can honor your time too.
• Run errands we may need help with: will provide the list
• Come sit with my child so I can take a walk, go to church, have an occasional break with someone he/ she feels comfortable with
• Laundry! A few less loads would be heaven

FOOD

• The following food items are always welcom: bag lunches for when we are “on the go” at the clinic or hospital, etc., drinks and non perishable food and snacks
• gift cards for the grocery store or takeout food.
• Drop off take out dinners when we get home after treatments/long days at the clinic or appointments.
• Coordinate meals for a few days or weekly that can be frozen and reheated or simply prepped to eat. Fresh veggies/ fruit/ drinks are always welcome (we’ll be sure to let you know of any special dietary needs).
• Drop off snacks and drinks for at home when we have many people in and out of the house.

We are deeply grateful for your care and concern for our family and anything you do will be a big help and a relief. Thank you for holding us all in your hearts and thoughts. It is good to know we are not alone.

(submitted by Liz Sumner, RN)